Slow Motion Memory Growth

It’s been almost two years since I sold my business, but it feels like two lifetimes. The timing of me selling my yoga studio of almost two decades was uncanny. I completed the sale and transition just a few months before COVID hit; four months before our world essentially shut down. It’s been a busy two years. Besides COVID, here’s what else has happened:

Three jobs. Ten interviews. Two grade levels. Three remodels. A death. Birth control. Driving. Fires.Another death. Protests. Hurricanes. Floods. Hospice. Knee Replacements. Dementia. Family. Friends. Sadness. Happiness. New job. Another new job. Hot tub. New plants. Outside dining. New driver’s license. Less meat. Four online classes. Electric bikes. Hulu. A vegetable garden. More baking. New habits. Fourty COVID tests. Outside heaters. Less drinking. Twenty-five COVID tests. More walking. HBO Max. Two volunteer gigs. Less yoga. Two road trips. Watercolors. Home office. One plane trip. Three vaccinations. Outdoor rituals. Honey cake. Holidays outside. Roller skating. Friday morning coffee. Raised beds. Outside heaters. Netflix.

As I’ve gotten older time seems to move faster, except for these past few years. When I look back at the last two years, I can actually remember stuff. COVID slowed the world down. As I reflect back on this time, it feels like there have been ten extra months crammed into the last two years. It seems impossible that so much has happened in just one-twenty-fifth of my life.

When COVID first hit there was a collective adrenaline rush in my household and community. We all went on high alert. Details were everything. Who did you talk to? How close did you stand? Did you wear your mask? Use hand sanitizer? Do you feel okay? The details of our lives became common conversation in a way they never had before.

In my family, we all knew where we all were all the time because mostly we were home. If someone took a walk or went to the grocery, we knew. If there was a social event there was lots of planning and preparation— COVID testing, isolation, organizing outdoor space.

The way we lived changed. During COVID we were no longer running in different directions. Before COVID my partner would be at her office and my daughter would be at school. I would be at the yoga studio. What each of us had for lunch or who we spoke to during the day was our own private story. At dinner each night we’d share a brief overview, but there were so many moments of each day that none of them was that precious, that memorable.

When I ran my business I was gone a lot. I had classes to teach, employees to manage, meetings to attend. When I sold the business all of that busyness was gone. Combined with the great slowing of COVID, suddenly a vast amount of space opened up in my life. My interior world expanded and my external life contracted.

When I contemplate how full my life has been in these last two years, years where our ability to travel, socialize and congregate has been severely curbed, I become acutely aware of how jam-packed my life was pre-COVID. I moved at warp speed. And I hardly remember it.